Peeps
by Dragon Mistress
Summary: Dee and his favourite peeps - that is, Ryo and a bunch of pink, sugary bunnies. Enjoy the weirdness.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own FAKE. All is property of Sanami Matoh. Peeps... somebody owns them, but it sure as heck ain't me.  
  
**WARNINGS:** Sugar highs, OOC-ness, shounen-ai, rude language.  
  
**Summary:** Dee and his favourite peeps - that is, Ryo and a bunch of pink, sugary bunnies.  
  
  
  
~**Peeps**~  
  
  
~THREE DAYS AFTER EASTER~  
  
  
Ryo knew it was going to be a bad day when Dee burst into his apartment, carrying a plastic bag stuffed full of God-knows-what and dressed in skin-tight jeans and a half-silk, half-fishnet shirt that just screamed, _I'm going to get into your pants tonight, Ryo, by hook or crook!_'  
  
Yo, it's mah peeps! Dee sang, flicking his cigarette butt into the sink. *_Psst._*  
  
Stop trying to be cool, Dee, because you're _so_ not, Bikky mumbled from the coffee table, where he and Carol were working busily on homework.  
  
Shut up, you brat, Dee snarled, flopping down on the sofa beside Ryo and throwing an arm around his partner's shoulders.  
  
What are you up to, Dee? Ryo sighed, gently pushing Dee's arm away.  
  
Dee pouted. You're so mean, Ryo. Suspecting _me_ of being up to something. I think Penguin's been a bad influence on you - all I did was go out for a little shopping.  
  
Ryo nervously eyed the bag at Dee's feet. Knowing him, it would most likely be crammed full of dirty magazines and naughty toys and differently-scented lubricants and all kinds of things Dee hoped to seduce Ryo with. It got a little tiring. Erm - I'm afraid to ask, but what did you buy, anyway?  
  
What did you _think_ I was buying? Dee asked seductively, getting beaned in the head by a shoe thrown expertly by Bikky.   
  
Ryo peeked into the bag. He extracted several boxes of bright pink marshmallow rabbits. Uh.... Dee?  
  
Peeps! My fave Easter candy. The store on the corner's having an after-Easter sale to get rid of em, so I bought a crapload. They're uber-yummy, dude. Give em here. Dee seized the boxes from Ryo's grasp and ripped the first one open. He crammed three bunnies in his mouth at once and said something, spraying his partner with pink sugar, but Ryo couldn't catch a word of it.   
  
I'm sorry?  
  
Dee swallowed with some difficulty. I said, these things rock.  
  
You can't eat all those, you'll get sick, Carol said, eyeing the six or so boxes in Dee's lap.  
  
I bet I could eat a hundred of these.  
  
But then _you'll_ turn into a big blob of marshmallow, and Ryo won't like you anymore, Carol replied coyly.  
  
Silence reigned. Dee slowly turned blue.  
  
he shrieked, tumbling off the sofa and spluttering in indignation. He turned to Ryo, his eyes huge and full of tears. You only love me because I'm skinny?! Wahhhhh!!!!  
  
Ryo glared at Carol as Dee attached himself, sobbing, to the brunette's leg. Why did you get him going?  
  
Only trying to help, Carol beamed. Look, he's totally into you, you daft sod.  
  
I already knew that, Ryo grumbled, trying to pry Dee off his leg. Dee! Get off! Come on, it doesn't matter how much you weigh!  
  
Do you really mean that? Dee whimpered, then a truly evil grin spread across his face. You know, he purred, If I weighed a couple hundred pounds or so more, you couldn't escape next time I got you pinned....  
  
Dee! Not in front of the children! Ryo bonked him with a cushion. Are you _completely_ shameless?!  
  
Are you completely _clueless_? Dee snarled back, stuffing a few more Peeps in his mouth.   
  
Clueless? Don't tell me you thought I'd be turned on by my idiot of a partner snarfing marshmallow bunnies?  
  
Looks like they're at it again, Bikky muttered.  
  
Let's leave them at it, Carol said happily, grabbing Bikky by the arm and hauling him off to his bedroom. I wanna play Soul Calibur 2 again! I'll beat you this time!  
  
Neither adult noticed as Bikky's door closed and the sounds of weapons clashing against weapons began.  
  
Come on, Ryo - we can _share_ them!  
  
I don't want those repulsive things! And if you eat too many of them, all your teeth are going to rot right out of your head!!  
  
They're not repulsive! Dee reached for a Peep, realised the box was empty, and quickly slit open another one. Come on, Ryo.... He swallowed his latest Peep and leaned forward, kissing Ryo firmly on the lips. Not a bad kiss, either. Dee's lips tasted like sugar.  
  
Dee -  
  
Hush. The children are gone. We've got all the time we need.  
  
Dee -! Hey! Get your hand out of there - Dee! Stop it! I mean it!  
  
Ryo squirmed out of Dee's grasp, bumping the boxes of Peeps as he did. Pink bunnies and a shower of pink sugar rained down on the rug.  
  
Argh, no! Mah peeps!  
  
So not cool, you old fart! Bikky yelled over the sounds of punching and kicking.  
  
Shove it, brat!  
  
Ryo picked bunnies off his rug. Goddammit, look at this mess! Would you _puh-leeze_ stop yelling and clean this up?!  
  
The raven-haired man pouted, getting the dustbuster out of the closet. So mean, he muttered to himself, vacuuming pink sugar off the rug.   
  
Do stop grousing. It's your own fault. Ryo cleared away the random scraps of plastic wrap from the boxes of Peeps and tossed them into the wastebasket. It's time to get supper ready, anyway.  
  
What are we having?  
  
  
  
Ugh! Ryo!  
  
If you don't like it, go mooch off JJ or something! Or even better, go home and feed yourself!  
  
Argh.... I'll be good... Dee shuddered at the thought of sharing supper with JJ, AKA the pokey little bug boy.  
  
  
***  
  
  
~AFTER SUPPER~  
  
  
It was time for bed. Carol had been safely escorted home, and Bikky was sound asleep in his own room. Much to Ryo's annoyance, Dee was sleeping over.  
  
Aren't you _ever_ ashamed of intruding like this? Ryo grumbled, climbing into bed. I mean, you've never even had the courtesy to _ask_ if I mind having you here all night.  
  
Ahh, you know you don't mind, Dee said. His words sounded strangely muffled. And now that Ryo thought about it, the sheets felt gritty.  
  
He sat up and switched the light back on. The sheets were sprinkled with pink sugar, and Dee was happily munching on Peeps.  
  
Dee! What the hell?! I thought you'd brushed your teeth already! I'm telling you, you're gonna get cavities!  
  
Dude, I'll be fine. I brushed my teeth. But I wanted a little bedtime snack!  
  
And you're just going to roll over and go to sleep after downing all that sugar? You're really asking for it! Not to mention, you're making a complete and total mess out of my bed! Get rid of those disgusting things, please!  
  
Come on. They're not disgusting. They're uber-yummy. Dee smiled seductively, a Peep held between his teeth by its ears. Try a bite.  
  
  
  
A glare.  
  
All right... all right.... Ryo hesitantly took the tiniest bite he could manage out of the Peep Dee had in his mouth. At the same time, he saw the mischievous glint in his partner's eyes. Damn. He'd walked straight into a trap.  
  
Dee swallowed the Peep and kissed Ryo firmly, all in one quick movement. One arm snaked around Ryo's waist, drawing him close, while the other hand busied itself unbuttoning Ryo's pajama top. Ryo was prepared to pull away, but then thought otherwise. Dee's kisses were even sweeter than usual with sugar on his lips.   
  
Moaning softly, Ryo opened his mouth and allowed Dee to slip his tongue between his lips. Dee pushed Ryo back onto the pillows, his fingers roaming down Ryo's chest and stopping to untie the drawstring of Ryo's pajama pants.  
  
Ryo caught Dee's wrist and smiled up at him from behind light brown bangs. Hey. Nice try. But you're not going there.  
  
Dee groaned unhappily, withdrawing his hand and burrowing his head against Ryo's neck. Mean, mean, mean. You're so mean.  
  
Yeah. A sadist, that's me. Ryo kissed Dee's ear. Goodnight, love.  
  
Goodnight, babe.  
  
Silence. Then -  
  
  
  
  
  
Next Easter.... buy a whole case of Peeps. They're.... pretty good.  
  
Uber-yummy, right?  
  
Nah. But what they do to _you_ is uber-yummy.  
  
  
~Owari!~  
  
  
  
(A/N: My very first FAKE fiction! How was it? I've only read the first six volumes of the manga, and haven't seen the anime. (Yet. I wanna get it on DVD for my birthday.) Volume 7 is on its way! I pre-ordered it from Amazon.com. Delivery date - May 7!! Yay! Can't wait!  
  
Getting back to the point - how was my first attempt at writing Dee and Ryo? (Dyo and Ree, as I call them when I'm confuzzled.) Any notes for improvement are welcome! Ja ne!)


End file.
